found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
