Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
