I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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