If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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