i permit you to call me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
