This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
