Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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