my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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