The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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