god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
