wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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