A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
