I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
