Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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