I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Randomize
