I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
