do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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