Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
