We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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