she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
