So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Is it because I queefed?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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