i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
there was a trapeze. enough said
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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