i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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