If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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