every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
