Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
