I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
