Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
