I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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