You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
