Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
