How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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