She said her name was "party"
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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