adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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