Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
