i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
