Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
