i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
