I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Drunk is not a location!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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