So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
