Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
