WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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