are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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