seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Randomize
