I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
