He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
