Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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