clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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