I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
She announced her abortion via fbk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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