Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
