I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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