Dual....:-)
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
